IN THE BEGINNING…

At 32 years old, my life was generally in chaos with nothing working well. My marriage was mess, and my finances were a mess although I was making plenty of money. I was completely lost in sin, you name it I was involved in at some point, drugs, alcohol, pornography, I lived a self-indulgent, self-absorbed life in every way.

This was the result of growing up in a hedonistic, mostly Godless home with a lot of trauma and dysfunction. Many can relate to this type of family culture.

I was an atheist. I literally believed in the big bang, evolution from single cell ameba to fully developed human. There was no point in existence other than personal gain, pleasure, achievement, getting everything out of it that I can. There was nothing after this physical material existence. So, get while the getting is good!

My life had gotten pretty miserable, and the answer to me was simple. Make more money, it will solve all my problems. More money meant more fun, more happiness, more stuff. It would be the answer to my marriage being better as well, I could give my wife stuff that would make her happy.

GOD INTERUPTS MY LIFE…

In the pursuit of making more money, I met a man who began to talk to me about God and ultimately, specifically, Jesus.

I was very caustic towards Christianity; the idea of God was ridiculous to me. It was the realm of the uneducated, the weak minded, those that needed something because they were too weak minded. The only reason I indulged this man was because I needed what he had, a path to wealth. So, I tolerated his conversations.

All this culminated at an event that this man had invited me to that would “change my world”. My entire mindset was money, and I assumed this event was the catalyst to launch me.

The event took a turn though. On a Saturday night before the final day of this conference, the people I was there with invited me to church services Sunday morning. I felt trapped and manipulated, because to say no would have been rude and ungrateful. I spent that Saturday night lying in bed mad that I had been put in this position. Fine, then I will do it, get it over and move on.

I had not been in a church in 25 years, except weddings and funerals. My life changed radically and forever that morning.

The gospel of Jesus Christ was shared that morning, the simple message of the Cross of Jesus, the grace of God, our desperate state and His invitation to life. The Holy Spirit lifted the veil from my eyes that morning. As I heard the message of the cross, the Holy Spirit was showing me the true source of my misery in life.

It was a surreal experience for me; it brings me to tears even today talking about that moment 30 years later. There is no other way to describe my experience other than revelation. God opened my eyes to see. I saw myself clearly for the first time, I saw God clearly for the first time. And my ugliness was contrasted to God’s goodness to redeem me even as an active enemy.

REAL LIFE BEGINS…

My life was radically reordered that day. Going from death to life was liberating, I could breath! And was on fire for Jesus from that day forward. I had spent decades on the other side of life without God, living antithetical to everything He is, and I knew the bitter fruit of that existence.

Like many of you, my life did not have a magic wand waved over by Jesus and everything was awesome. On the contrary, things got worse. But I didn’t come to a gospel of an easy life in Jesus. I came to a gospel that I was a sinner, dead in my sins and heading or eternal damnation. I came to a gospel that offered peace in the middle of chaos and turmoil, transcendent peace and joy. A gospel that promised strength to live a life that could be good and purposeful, with meaning and at peace with my God, who had the power to change my life.

I lost everything after receiving Christ and committing to follow Him fully. I lost my marriage, my two sons were taken to another city, I lost nearly all my materials possessions. Most of my family kept me at arm’s length. It was painful! But I truly never at any point blamed God. I had created this situation, but I believed that remaining faithful to God would bring about his perfect will and a life far better than I could imagine.

And He did!

Today my wife and I have been remarried for decades, my was family restored, everything that was lost had been restored. And all of it in the context of God’s good will and grace. I have had a number of family members, including my wife come to faith in Christ and seen God use my life in unusual and awesome ways.

AN UNEXPECTED CALLING…

Ten years after giving my life to Jesus, God directed me to vocational ministry, and I have been a pastor on staff for 15 years.

The point?

I lived decades away from God as an atheist and ate the bitter fruit. I have lived with God now for three decades and have eaten the glorious fruit of a submitted, yielded, surrendered life with Him. There is no comparison. As many of you know.

When I entered ministry 15 years ago, I fasted and prayed for 25 days to hear from God. Why was I being called, what is my calling, what is my purpose in God’s kingdom.

For nearly 15 years from being saved to going into ministry, I ran my own business with a great business partner and brother in Christ. I was serving God in the marketplace. I was confused as to how those years appeared to be wasted as I was being called into ministry. But as we know, God wastes nothing. He repurposed all my experience and gifts and talents for this ministry calling.

At the end of that time of praying and fasting I heard God in my spirit, he said I was to be an “equipper”, that is what God was calling me to do in ministry. After praying and reading, I realized exactly what God meant. I was being called to equip Christians to understand and commit to following Jesus faithfully, with integrity to the scriptures.

LIFE NOW UNTIL DEATH…

I love seeing people give their lives to Jesus! It’s the most important thing we participate in, preaching the gospel that the lost may be found. But that is a work of the Holy Spirit. Making disciples on the other hand is what Jesus called His church to (Matthew 28:19-20).

That is what gets me up every day, that is what animates my life. And I love to engage people in the process.